The Chad Sizemore Special


Zachery Mincey, Comic Artist

Chad Edward Sizemore is one of the around 100 senior students graduating James Monroe High School this year. After I found and subdued him, I asked him a plethora of questions, which goes as follows:

Q: What’s your favorite thing about JMHS?
A: “The JROTC.”

Q: What is your opinion on the current happenings in Brazil?
A: “I don’t have any opinion on Brazil?”

Q: Why did you cut your hand open?
A: “It was an unintentional accident.”

Q: What is your certified Maverick Moment?
A: “I don’t know, pep rallies!”

Q: What are your plans after high school?
A: “Marine corps.”

Q: Who’s the better singer, John Lennon or Paul McCartney?
A: “Well, I haven’t really listened to either of them so… John Lennon.”

Q: Is cheesecake a cake or a pie?
A: “Cake.”

Q: Are you getting tired of these questions?
A: “Slightly.”

Q: Who would win in a fight, Goku or Superman?
A: “Goku. Prove me wrong.”

Q: Who is your most favorite student at James Monroe High School?
A: “Kaylee Cook. She’s my girlfriend.”

Q: What is your favorite food item?
A: “Orange chicken from Sam’s Club. It comes with a nice sauce, bro.”

Q: Out of your 4 years at James Monroe High School, which was your least favorite?
A: “My sophomore year.”

Q: What is your least favorite thing about [REDACTED]?
A: “Good battalion commander; very complain-y, for lack of a better word. Also looks like an Amish girl in dress blues.”

Q: Do you eat cereal dry?
A: “What? No. Cereal is much better with MALK [sic].”

Q: Do you pour milk before or after you pour the cereal?
A: “After. It doesn’t splash as much.”

Q: Would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more games, or games, unlimited games, but no more games.
A: “I’ll take the bacon.”

Q: If a penny doubled in size every day for 30 days, how long until it destroyed the Earth?
A: “I’d say about 20 days.”

This concludes the interview of Chad Edward Sizemore. Hopefully he recovers from his injuries soon.